One of life's great mysteries - how the house can be so trashed as a result of no one being here for a couple of days? We were running errands - in and out, in and out - all weekend long. Good busy - but very, very busy. And I feel the stress creeping up my spine as I survey the mess around and race madly trying to get abreast of it so that I can find a place of quiet this morning before the little ones get up.
But I want to pause and think for a moment about what my job really is. It is good to get on top of the mess - to create a restful haven rather than a place of chaos. But if I find that cleaning the mess is causing me to dread my own children's waking - perhaps I am placing too much importance on the mess?
Perhaps if I step back and breathe - slow - and remind myself that I am their soul-nurturer and guide today. Is it a better witness to walk slow by their sides and love them or to toss them into highchairs, give them breakfast, and go back to racing around getting the physical house in order while leaving spiritual houses in disarray? We have had a busy weekend. They would benefit from some time with Mommy just to sit still and be quiet and to talk (or at least hear me talk) about things of importance. Just to cultivate relationships there.
Because their little souls will be forever and this house will bend and break and in the far reaches of eternity no one will remember or care whether the kitchen table was spotless for company on this day, April the 16th of 2012. But somewhere ahead in that eternity, the work I do on these little souls will be going on and on.
These are precious jewels for me to hone, by God's grace and mercy. Imperfect and in-need-of-honing as I am myself. Still I must polish and attend to the things that need to be taught and gently lead these precious ones on this path of grace, pointing them towards Christ. Yes, the cleaning is important. But I needed to sit down and write it out this morning to remind myself that I must have my children's needs in the forefront of my mind, as my first priority. If my cleaning spree is interrupted by a little voice calling, "Mommy!" it is not an interruption. It is the real beginning of my work today.
And this work is beautiful indeed.
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| Little one, pointing at the birdies outside - may I point you to Christ today. |
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Gifts to dwell on today:
- Out-of-town friends coming to visit
- Our new minivan (part of why our weekend was so busy - picking it up and surprising our families with it!) and the new space it provides - so thankful to have this!
- Little ones breathing soft and sweet and slow in sleepiness.
- Whirring dryer, swishing washing machine, humming dishwasher. The sounds of domestic busyness.
- Leftover pizza for breakfast. It feels freeing after frantically dieting all last week - just to relax a bit and say..."It's okay to enjoy these good things in moderation...it's okay." And it is. But that's a different post.
I needed to hear this today. I was getting selfishly competitive as my SAH husband was away at a weekend retreat and I desperately wanted him to come home to a clean home but then my eldest and I both got sick and it was all I could do but just survive. I felt like He was whispering to me, do you really want to have it clean to bless him or are you competing with him? There wasn't much I could do but sit with my daughter and hold a cool rag to her head and it was enough.
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